I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
