Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
