So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
