Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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