I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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