Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
