I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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