Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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