We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize