I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
