halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
