great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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