don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize