Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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