ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
