drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
