u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
