She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
