It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Acid is not a monday night drug
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
