So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize