nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
