Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
