____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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