We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize