why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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