SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
