better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
