u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
