Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
