Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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