she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
