I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
