If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
In other news, I just burned my penis
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
