Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
