oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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