nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
