Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
