That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize