I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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