I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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