i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
