i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
