It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
