Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
