And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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