We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
