Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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