Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
