I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize