First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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