do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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