That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
