My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
