Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
