Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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