i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
