Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he shaved USA in his pubs
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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