She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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