Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Shame - the story of my life.
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