I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have post one night stand depression
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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