About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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