Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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