i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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