FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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