Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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