I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
