it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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