we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
and you fell through a lawn chair
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
