WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
we should paint friendship bongs
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