Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
